On May 5th, 2010 our life was redefined when we discovered that I have a tumor
growing in the spinal cord of my neck.

The purpose of this blog to keep an updated record of our "Life Redefined" and give you the details you might be wondering about (surgery, recovery and other random daily stuff, etc...)

For our friends and our family members who want to be kept updated this is the easiest way for us to do it. It's also good therapy for me to write it down!

We still want you to call or visit if you feel like it - we find so much strength from you. All of your words and encouraging thoughts and prayers are a great blessing for us!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

from my Journal

Aside from my blogging about this experience I keep a more personal journal.  This is where I have been recording my thoughts that to me seem like things I would rather keep private - good and bad.  Today, however, I was writing and felt like I would like to share this journal entry on my blog. 

So here it is:

"I was talking on the phone with Teresa yesterday.  She told me a very sweet story.  She told me that she was substituting in Primary on Sunday and Reese, a little girl Emily's ages, was giving the closing prayer in Primary and in her prayer she said, "and please bless Emily's mommy that she will get better.

It is no wonder I am improving the way I am ... homes all over the country and even in the world are praying for me.  Why?  Do I deserve it?  I don't suppose it matters whether I deserve it or not.  It just means that there is SO MUCH GOODNESS in this world and it goes so easily unnoticed with everything going on around us.  There are sweet little 5 year old girls praying daily for someone she barely knows because her parents have taught her that is it's better to "love one another" than to be selfish and unkind.  It is so humbling to me.  I am so grateful and in awe over how blessed we have been.

Only 4 days until I get to get into my van and go home.  There is NO place I would rather be right now.  I don't want to be on an exotic trip or vacation, I don't want to be anywhere but in my home...(for now anyway!).  Inside those walls where although not always "peaceful," it is where i feel so much love and joy.

This experience has really changed my perspective on how I view my life.  The only thing I care about right now are relationships.  My relationship with my sweet husband, which I have taken for granted so much.  My relationship with my children which I have abused and neglected...I was always too concerned with what I needed instead of what their little hearts needed from me.  My relationship with all of my extended family... do they really know how much I love them and how I would do anything for hem?  My relationship with my neighbors.  I do not serve enough, I do not get out of my comfort zone enough.  Relationships are the most important thing we have in our lives.  (I believe that they are ONE of the few things we get to take with us in the next life...not our material things, but our relationships!)  The most important relationship that I need to improve in is that with my Savior, Jesus Christ.  (This experience has been such a blessing in that way...I have felt His love in so many personal and amazing experiences, an answer to my prayers.)  I KNOW  that when that relationship is good then all other things come into place and life, even though it is full of trials and difficulties, becomes manageable, happy and worth the ride!

D&C 59:7
"Thou shalt thank the Lord they God in all things."

"We pay our debt of gratitude by living in such a way as to bring credit to our parents and the name we bear, by doing good to others, by being of service, by being willing to share the light and knowledge we have received so that others will also have joy and happiness, by living the principles of the gospel in their fulness.  Paul told us we should be filled with the Spirit, "giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 5:20)." - Howard W. Hunter


Suzanne said...

I agree, people are ALWAYS more important than things!!
Love you my dear,

amy said...

some day i will share my story with you of my day i hit bottom and found out without a shadow of a doubt that my Father in Heaven knows ME

Angie T. said...

Thank you so much for sharing! It is so true. Please let me know if you need any more help with the kids this week. I enjoyed my day with your sweet baby boy. He was a joy to have. The boys loved having him. Love you Kara and can't wait until you are home!

Penny said...

Just look how many peoples lives you are blessing by giving them the opportunity to serve. See you soon Girl. LOVE YA