The Terribles and the Greats!

I thought I would do a post that was more me just explaining how things are going, without pictures.

There have been some terribles and there have been some greats!

Last night for example was terrible and great!  I went to bed the earliest I have EVER done since being here in rehab and I was super proud of myself.  Shortly after having gone to bed I started feeling one of the most terrible pains I've ever felt.  Both of my feet were on FIRE...but completely on FIRE.  The pain would be uncomfortable and then increase over a short period of time to unbearable at which point I would start crying like a baby, not able to control myself.  It hurt so bad.  This would phase in and out over the course of about 5 minute increments.  I knew there was nothing the nurse could do about it because I knew it was "nerve pain" and the doctors had just increased my nerve pain meds that night (unfortunately it takes a few days for it to set in).  I eventually got so unbelievably frustrated that I ripped of these stiff huge boots that I have to wear to bed every night and threw them to the side and flung my legs off either side of the bed to where I was straddling the bed.  I was hoping that dangling my feet for a while might change the pain distribution or something.  Anyway...it worked!  The pain went from unbearable to bearable and I was able to sleep until 7 a.m.!  A record...since I am waking up usually at 5:30 a.m. or 6 a.m.!  A Great! Last night was also the 1st night that I didn't have to wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night!  A Great!  When you're tired and you have to go and you're in a wheelchair it is the most inconvenient thing, transferring to my wheelchair and then the toilet takes energy and muscle, something that's hard to come by in the middle of the night.  So last night was terrible and great!

This morning has been great so far!  I was able to shower (in a shower wheelchair) all by myself!  I didn't have to have any aid or nurse in there with me.  I did it!  One more step toward independence!  Then, besides having my aid help me gather my clothes for the day I completely dressed myself and finished getting myself ready for the day!  A Great!

So here's the big terrible and great story...

I have been progressing so much that everyone around here is buzzing with excitement...the social worker told my mom that I am the "star of the floor," because of how quickly I've been progressing!  Well...we know why don't we????  Hard Work combined with Prayers, Fasting and Faith (from everywhere) and mostly the healing power of a loving Savior!  I am walking longer distances with a walker every day!  3 days ago Rob, my physical therapist, had me standing up on my own, without a walker or assistance.  He was blocking my weaker knee and right there beside me when I got wobbly or started losing my balance, but I was doing it by myself!  Then yesterday Rob said, "let's do some stairs" and I knew he wasn't joking!  So, we did them!  I had rails to hang on to the whole time.  Up and down 4 or 5 stairs!  Very Great!

Here's the Terrible about all of this.  Because I am doing so well, they want me to stay longer.  The thought makes me cry.  Rob, my PT guy,  looked at me just a couple of days ago and said..."do you want to walk out of here?"  The question shocked both my mother and I.  But the idea is this, if I stay longer then they think they would be able to discharge me with the ability to be able to walk - with the walker - independently around my house.  I would still be using a wheelchair because I would fatigue easily and slowly build up more strength and ability to do things while in the walker.  I would also definitely need a wheelchair for any kind of shopping our long outing.  If I were to leave today.  I wouldn't be able to do any of these things except in therapy.  Right now I receive 4-6 hours of therapy 6 days a week.  At home I would receive 3 hours of therapy a week...maybe.  So more than likely me getting to an independent in the walker stage in out-patient therapy will take a much longer time than if I just stay longer and work hard and get it done before I come home.  Our in-patient insurance benefits are great.  Our out-patient insurance benefits are not even close to enough, so in other words terrible.  (I am so grateful that I have insurance, don't get me wrong, we're just weighing our option financially too.)  So the answer seems obvious, but the idea is TERRIBLE, to be away from my husband and kids that much longer seems almost unbearable.  The idea of me "walking" out of here seems GREAT and MIRACULOUS!